It is my extreme discomfort to report to you that the textbook(s) you ordered for your personal perusal have since gone out of print. We have discovered that the topics in which you were interested covered too miniscule a niche in our readership to warrant continuing publication, and as such we burned all remaining copies to prevent any future misunderstandings as to their availability. We are sure that the knowledge included in these textbooks was in fact relevant and enriching at the time that these textbooks existed, but we are also confident that the knowledge in our other highly regarded texts will be more than sufficient to enrich and enlighten any interested parties at the present time with their own particular brand of scholar-oriented contents. Please consider reviewing one the following as a substitute to the volume(s) you requested:
Origami the Easy Way: Using Robotics to Speed An Ancient Art
Understanding Microsoft Office Vol XXII: The Paperclip with Eyebrows
The Microevolution of Pasta, Level 4: The Fusilli Strain
Business 102B: Avoiding the New Coke Fiasco in Your Business
We apologize for any inconveniences the ever-evolving nature of our product line may have caused you or your colleagues, Mr. Risk, and should you have any questions at all please don't hesitate to contact me.
McGraw-Hill Textbooks Division