Of All the Things
I swallowed a glass shard.
The way this glass made its way into my esophagus is quite amazing. I was restocking beer and one Red Stripe I put in just up an exploded. I felt it hit the back of my throat and stood erect, shocked. Fuck, did that just happen? Moments later my sternum area starts hurting.
"Hey, Frank, you're gonna laugh, but do you have a phonebook? 'Cause I just maybe swallowed some glass."
The nurse in the emergency room I spoke with on the phone said that if the piece was smaller than a dime then they usually sayy don't worry about it. I don't know the size, really, but I doubt it was bigger than a dime. Frank assured me he'd take care of any bills, but let me confide in you, dear reader, a big reason that I didn't go to the hospital is I have this fear of being an inconvenience. Like, what if I didn't actually swallow anything and it's all psycho-somatic? Anyhow, there's no trouble swallowing or anything, so I'm gonna let this piece of sharp glass (if it does exist) pass through the meters and meters of my remaining digestive tract.