I write the software for Geneffects and tend bar at the Cat's Cradle in Carrboro, NC.

Monday, May 09, 2005

The Unexpected Serpent!

The snake struck at fifteen minutes after midnight, but of course by then it was already too late for the group of boy scouts!!!


Joshua Bratcher never wanted to be in the scouts. His dad was a scout. His grandfather was a scout. Every boy in his school was a scout! Josh even suspected that his mother wished she was a boy scout. (That's impossible.) So, you see, Josh's options seemed kind of limited. He could either spend his weekends with all of his friends hiking and camping, or he could be all so very alone in a dark room and maybe watch some TV. Yes, Josh's options were limited.

This weekend was the trip to Viper mountain. Josh's friend, Randy had been excited and planning this trip all week. It was all he ever talked about! It's like that kid didn't have anything else going on at all in his life whatsoever! Every day Josh would come into class, even before Josh had a frickin' chance to sit down he'd hear Randy shout out to him something like, "Hey, J-Diddy! You know why it's called Viper Mountain?"

"No, RanDan, I have no clue. Nor do I really have any interest at all. Please, if you care anything for me, do not tell me why it is called Viper Mountain."

"Well, you see, the legend has it that a giant meteor struck the side of the mountain killing a mother viper's entire family! The mother viper was so so so so super angry that she swore revenge on all meteors! ...But then after a few years of that not working out so well, she just decided to switch to being mad at people instead... because people are everywhere and meteors hit the mountain like once every million years and the mother viper didn't want to wait that long."

"Thanks, Randy. Thanks for tellin' me that. Now my life is frickin' complete. I feel that at this very moment I could pass away into the other life in peace now that I am in possession of this knowledge. So thank you, Randy. Thank you."

"You're welcome! Anytime! I've got all sort's of cool facts about Viper Mountain!"

Josh just sighed. He liked Randy, but oh turnips did he loath Boy Scout trips! He couldn't figure out what he h8ted more. Was it the cold, cold nights in a tent? Or the smoke from fires blowing in his face? Or was it the poorly prepared meals cooked by 11 year olds?

Then Brandon came in the room.

"What's up, Squish," Josh said to the B-meister.

"Nothin'. Are you ready for the trip?"

Josh didn't say anything back. He knew Brandon knew that Josh didn't want to go. Brandon was teasing him! Weeeeee! Brandon was a really cool kid also. Too bad a ghost snake was going to try to eat him in a couple of days.

But Brandon kills the snake. And eats it. But doesn't save the leftovers, because leftover ghost snake, after it's been refrigerated, just doesn't taste the same. Gross.

The End.


Anonymous said...

did senior tarde write this? it doesn't really seem like your style.

2:55 PM  
Geneffects said...

Brandon and I wrote that story... I was kind of writing it and reading it as it came to me and he would should things out which I would immediately add no matter out of place they seemed.

3:09 PM  
Geneffects said...

Shit, anonymous, I was trying to delete my response which I fucked up on, but deleted your second comment.

3:12 PM  
Anonymous said...

that's okay, now it just looks like i'm a bad speller. anyway, that's cute. you guys make a good team.

4:48 PM  
pinky said...

...it was already too late for the group of boy scouts!!!

I think the best part is the triple-exclamation-point at the end of the above sentence. It really prepares the reader for the experience to come.

I absolutely encourage your further ventures into team-writing.

9:43 PM  
Anonymous said...

you mean "loathe" Boy Scout trips, not "loath" which means "unwilling"

7:29 PM  

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