The Singing Toothpick
Billy Sugarfix invented a Singing Toothpick and it recently gave a tremendous performance at the Cradle. It was quite a fiasco. Load-in was a 4:23AM. The road crew finally rolled in in three aquamarine tour busses. Immediately I and the son of Nosferatu were dispatched as runners to fill the toothpicks extravagant rider. I return 720 minutes later with a jar of honeybees, three broken pogo-sticks, the tail of Haley's Comet, and a domesticated lemur named Karl. The show was a success. The Toothpick has really learned to master some impressive stage techniques. He emerged in a bed of fog backlit by 200 strobing black lights and wearing a white cape made from the pelt of the Hamburger Helper glove. Audience members swooned as he sang such hits as "Boulders Boulders Everywhere" and "Goodbye Color Purple". The Toothpick almost met his end when, after a long night of partying in the greenroom, he got belligerently drunk and passed out in a box of OCSC matches.