Don't Fuck With Me
It was 5:30 in the morning and I heard noises. I jump out of bed and I see a shadowy figure sort of hunched near the door. I yell something and it may well have been "get out of my cave!" because I was acting on pure neanderthal fight reflex. I push him into the wall and am just about to hit him in the face, but something stops me. It's Dan, my roommate coming back late from his tour.
"Man, I'm sorrry! I didn't realize it was you."
The awkwardness is just about to pass, but then I remember: I'm completely naked.
"Um.. sorry for attacking you naked. G'night."