I write the software for Geneffects and tend bar at the Cat's Cradle in Carrboro, NC.

Saturday, August 28, 2004

Misconceptions of Sex

Two excerpts from this week's Savage Love:
  • One of the kids at my Catholic school was proud to teach the rest of us guys all about sex. He had peeked in on his mother and her boyfriend and explained it as follows: The man puts a balloon on his dick, and then uses his dick to insert the balloon into the woman's pee hole. Then he puts his lips to the woman's pee hole and inflates the balloon until it pops. He knew it popped, because his mother screamed when it did. We believed him, because his story was just too bizarre to have been made up.
  • When I was in the sixth grade, our friend Tom, who lived on a farm and thus had instant credibility in our group concerning all things reproductive, told us that when we were older we would have to have sex, but as males we would get no satisfaction from it. When asked to explain, he replied, "When your ear itches and you scratch it with your finger, what feels better, the ear or the finger?
Also good is the "trying for puppies" story. These tales are simply begging to be incorporated into a work of fiction.


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