I write the software for Geneffects and tend bar at the Cat's Cradle in Carrboro, NC.

Monday, July 26, 2004

Graffiti <-- Is Gay

The ticket window is one of the most boring places to work at the Cradle. Your world is confined to a three by four cube and you are supposed to live like that for several hours. After a while you feel sympathetic to the plight of veal. David Blaine attempted such a feat but within an hour was pounding on the walls screaming bloody terror. To keep some semblance of sanity you find ways to occupy your mind. You pass the hours doodling or reading or looking on with contempt as the video store parking lot guy marks cars for towing. "Son of a bitch... he gets to be outside." Sometimes you graffiti up the walls. It is here that a true art emerges. It is a thoughtful process as you have nothing else to do but think of clever things, and above all (and most interestingly) it is collaborative. No graffiti is impervious to the defacement and alteration of future ticket window shifters. "Brian + Ann" so very easily transforms to "Brian + Ann are gay". Nothing is too sacred to touch. The philosophical "reality is a myth" now has a line pointing at it declaring "I am a douche". A simple "Fresh" is, by way of several updates, "Funky Fresh Fish Feet". Even the relatively anthemic "rock hard" is not spared - becoming "I love rock hard penis".

One particular bit of graffiti has grown impressively over the years. It started simply as "I hate metalheads, deadheads, lemonheads". Then it began to grow. Today the list runs down the wall. It makes one notice the prevalence of the relatively new suffix "head." For posterity, here are the rest: potheads, parrotheads, buttheads, jarheads, crackheads, not to eggheads giving head, knuckleheads, motorheads, dickheads, shitheads, fuckheads, screwheads, blackheads, whiteheads, duckheads, meatheads, parkinglotsecurityheads, sleepyheads, portisheads, machineheads, bedheads, boneheads, spearheads, baseheads, fatheads, airheads, talkingheads, pinheads, cheeseheads, hammerheads, onionheads, carrotheads, chickenheads, phishheads, redheads.

In other news, Kemps car was given "the yellow racing stripe" by some inebriated punker.


Lance McCord said...

Uh, I hate geneffectsheads because they are always getting one up on me and stealing my girl.

11:19 PM  
Anonymous said...

Nothing that a $1.25 at the all night car wash couldn't handle. What about the dick that just watched it happen and didn't say anything to the dude or even tell me about it.


10:05 PM  

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