Gym Teacher Sex Scandal, Tennessee
The nation is reeling from reports of Pamela R. Turner, a gorgeous blonde 27-year-old gym teacher at Centertown Elementary School in McMinnville Tennessee, having sexual relations with her thirteen year old male student. A boy who, under normal circumstances, would normally only fantasize about having sex with his gorgeous blonde gym teacher.
"It is a travesty that a sexually mature, yet inexperienced boy be initiated into the world of carnal pleasures by a lasciviously rapacious young faculty member. This goes against the natural order of things which is that a young man's first sexual experience be with a terrified virgin under the ping-pong table in the basement rec-room," said Mr. Commanderson, school principal.
Dr. Morrison, a court-appointed psychologist said that, "the victim is suffering physical trauma as a result of multiple high-fives and extensive emotional damage resulting from his now impossibly high standards of beauty and sexual maturity in his future sex partners."
"It's not going to be an easy road for this brave young man," added Morrison.
The Centertown student body is doing their best to cope with the scandal. "All of us guys, we would joke about how cool it'd be to have sex with Ms. Turner," said one classmate. "But those were just jokes. We never imagined that something like this would actually happen. Now that it's a reality I... my whole world has turned upside down."
"It's shocking," says the victim's father, "it really is. If I could go back in time and bare this terrible burden for my son, I would. Oh why God? Why couldn't it have been me instead?"
Of course, the real issue lies in the emotional stress that can become of a domineering teacher emotionally controlling her student, but there are no laws governing emotionally controlling relationships, so all charges focus entirely on the sexual acts.
Turner faces more than 100 years of prison time if convicted.
Ms. Turner's lawyer says he will pursue the insanity defense. "Would a woman of right mind and this level of hotness have sex with her awkward, 13-year old student? It just doesn't make sense!"
Says Turner, "when I would suck [the victim] off in-between classes or when he was tapping me doggystyle after school, I could really sense the emotional damage I was causing, but I just couldn't stop! Oh lord, I need help."
When asked for comment, the victim, obviously in a state of shock, said, "OMG it was awesome! I mean... horrible? I'm like all damaged and stuff? Do I have to go to class?"